It was 25th of August, 2012. I sat quietly in my bed, not knowing what I should do next. I was sure I would not survive 1 more day in that office. I hated it. I hated it from the core of my heart. But I needed to be doing some thing, even I decided to call it quits. ‘I DON’T CARE. I am going to quit, YES I am.’ No matter what, I could not be doing something that I hated so much! I was lost in thoughts as my mobile vibrated to swing me back to my senses. “Madhu! Something amazing has happened! You remember I told you that the last day for May IPCC (CA Inter) registrations will be done by July 31st? Apparently, the last date for registration has been postponed to 30th August due to some change in inter exam eligibility and rules!”.
The news lifted some weight off me. So I do have an option; An option that was not my dream. An option that I did not want to pursue at one point. An option that I may regret taking on in the future. I chose one of the options based on what was worse. That is right, quitting it is! But I have worked for just 2 months. Am I making a decision in hassle? Isn’t it stupid to give up so soon? Around 20 questions like this popped. I usually call one person when I get stuck in this kind of maze – my father. It was 11 in the morning. I desperately called him up, “Appa, I can’t do this”.
“Dont make any decision when you are frustrated or angry. Emotions are temporary but actions are permanent.”
“I realise that. I am not able to make this decision. You tell me what to do, I will do it.”
He sighed, “Forget people. Do you like the work you are doing?”
“Do you see a future in the company?”
“5 yrs into the company, is there a possibility, you will be happy if you stick your job now?”
“I do not think so.”
“Final question: this job or anything else in life?”
“Anything else in life.”, I said, without taking a breath.
“Any idea what you will do after you quit?”, he enquired
“Will give C.A inter”
“Put down your papers on Monday and welcome home”, he said, smiling.
31st of August: Back home. Registered to give exam in May 2013 and enrolled in all the classes.
2nd of September: Cousins wedding. Meeting relatives after a long time. I sat next to one of my uncles for lunch. He casually asked about what I am planning to do etc. He also enquired about my aspiration to study in IIM B. I told him that it is not possible to pursue that dream at least for the next few years because CA takes another 3-4 years to complete. I felt bad while saying those words. He said, “I believe you have a month to prepare for CAT exam. Don’t tell anyone that you are writing. So if things do not go your way, you don’t have to answer anyone. Not even me!” Not a bad idea, I thought.
14th October: Wrote cat. Had zero expectations. A sense of relief poured on me since I can concentrate on C.A.
9th May: ‘Here I come IIM-B’ moment happened.
Isn’t it strange that sometimes things happen that one could call luck? But was it really luck? Yes, the phone rang at the right time. Yes, I met the right person at the right time. Yes, somethings that have not happened for years, happened during that time. BUT what if I chose to play it safe? What if I did not want to answer the question – How can you be stupid to quit in 2 months from such a big company? What if I thought twice about being unemployed? What if I stopped dreaming?